Relationship Issues
Trust, intimacy and openness are at the heart of our closest relationships. When they become troubled we can be deeply affected, and our health and happiness can suffer. Our sense of self-worth and identity often rests on the strength of our relationships, so we can despair when they falter.
Many of the problems experienced in forming and sustaining relationships are the product of unconscious expectations inherited from our families and environments. Relationship therapy can provide a space to reflect on relationship expectations, heal past hurts, and find new and more fulfilling ways of relating.
I have many years experience as a relationship therapist, and have managed Brighton & Hove Relate and its LGBT counselling service. My work is affirmative of relationship diversity, including non-monogamous and poly relationships.
Low Self-Esteem
Counselling and psychotherapy offer a safe environment to develop a sense of self-worth which is not reliant on other people’s perceptions of us. When we don’t feel intrinsically lovable and worthy of respect or esteem, we can focus on our flaws and develop a façade to protect us from being seen and known. This can leave us feeling very alone.
Low self-esteem often develops in childhood, when we can feel we need to act in a particular way to be valued and loved. Sometimes low self-esteem develops later in life, when relationships end or we experience redundancy or ill-health. Our self-esteem can also be adversely affected by experiences of discrimination and abuse.
When we don’t feel good about ourselves, life can be very challenging. It can be difficult to be confident and assertive, form relationships, and feel comfortable in social situations. We can feel anxious and insecure and unworthy of love. We can doubt the worth of our achievements, and feel as though we don’t deserve the recognition we have earned.
If you would like support to develop your inner strength and self-belief, please do get in touch.
Grief and Loss
When someone we love dies, we can experience overwhelming emotions of shock and disbelief, guilt, sadness, fear, anger and loneliness. We can become disorientated and suffer physical symptoms of fatigue, loss of appetite, spaciness, lowered immunity, weight loss or gain, aches and pains, and insomnia. It can be difficult to understand and communicate how we are feeling, which can intensify the sense of being alone with our grief.
Counselling offers people who are bereaved a safe and comforting place to grieve. There is no need to protect a counsellor from the intensity of your emotions, or to mask the complexity of your feelings about the person you have lost. The support of a counsellor can be a tremendous solace, helping you to understand and process what you are experiencing, and live with your loss.
I am a qualified bereavement counsellor, with many years experience supporting people to find a way through the painful feelings and sensations which accompany loss.
Healing From Abuse
If you were sexually abused in childhood you may have been deeply affected in many ways. In order to survive, abused children adopt strategies including denial of the abuse, putting on a mask, hiding in fantasy worlds, dissociating, and overachieving at school. The behaviours and strategies that children develop in order to resist and survive abuse can continue to affect them in their adult lives.
Adult survivors resist the effects of childhood abuse in many ways, and find strategies to help with healing. With the right support, survivors of sexual abuse can and do heal from their experiences and have fulfilling lives. In doing so they show great strength and courage. Many survivors find counselling and psychotherapy a helpful way to work through the pain, memories and other impacts of abuse.
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Data Protection and Privacy Notice
When you contact me, I collect your name, contact details and message and store them on password-protected electronic devices and secure cloud storage services. I use information held about you to offer you a professional counselling and psychotherapy service; to offer suitable appointments; to notify you about changes to your appointments and other changes to my service; and for data analysis and statistical purposes.
You have the right to ask me for a copy of the information held by me in my records. You also have the right to require me to correct any inaccuracies in your information. You may withdraw your consent for me to hold and process your data at any time. However, if you do this while receiving counselling or psychotherapy from me, your counselling would need to end.
I will not share personally identifiable information about you with other organisations or people, except in the following situations:-
Clinical and peer supervision. I regularly review my work with clinical and peer supervisors who are bound by a contract of confidentiality.
Serious Harm. I may share your information with the relevant authorities if I have reason to believe that this may prevent serious harm being caused to you or another person.
Compliance with Law. I may share your information where I am required to by law or by the regulations and other rules to which I am subject.