The Therapeutic Relationship

Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task, particularly for the first time. After a couple of false starts, I found therapists who changed my life because of the depth and genuineness of our encounters: the counsellor who walked me to my door after our first session because he saw how lonely I was; the psychotherapist who gave me a tiny carved panda to hold between sessions; and the analyst who recommended a glazier when my car window shattered en route to our appointment. Their simple acts of kindness touched me deeply, and their probity kept me safe.

In the words of Irvin Yalom, an existentialist psychotherapist I love, “it’s the relationship that heals”. Yalom cites abundant research evidence that good outcomes in counselling and psychotherapy “depend on the intensity, the warmth, the genuineness, and the empathy of the therapeutic relationship." This has certainly been my experience, as both a client and a therapist. We are vulnerable as clients, and need “fellow travellers” we can trust.

"The mutative force in therapy is not intellectual insight, not interpretation, not catharsis, but is, instead, a deep, authentic meeting between two people."

- Irvin Yalom


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